You're my little dorito
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
