that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
