On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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