Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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