so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
