aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
