Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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