It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fuck appropriateness.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
