so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We are two peas in an std pod
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
