I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
