Screwed.edu
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
