Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
