I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
