I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
