Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
