dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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