we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it was like eating out sand paper
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
