last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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