i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
