I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
