As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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