What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
