Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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