Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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