Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently you make a good broom.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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