If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
