Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
