If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
