based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
not ubering you a puppy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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