I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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