I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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