my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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