he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
