I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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