He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
