my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
this just has baby written all over it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
