think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
