3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
