How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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