I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
