I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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