Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
