what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
