I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
