are you so shy because you have an std?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ladies don't puke and tell
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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