there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
