What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
