oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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