the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
