You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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