Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
