That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
