I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
