we're chasing vodka with high fives
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
