Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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