it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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