I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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