I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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