Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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