I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
