it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
