Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
