so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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