You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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