who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
