super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she told me i tasted like america
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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